Shinrai
by Mayonaka no Sasayaki
Summary: (1st in Partner Series) To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.


**Partner Series:** This a series filled with all sorts of moments and headcanons about the amazing partnership between Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan and Miyano Shiho/Haibara Ai.

 **Theme:** Trust

Please Read and **Review!**

* * *

 **(1)** 信頼 - Shinrai: Reliance; Trust; Faith; Confidence

* * *

Pain flairs from his left cheek, head snapping to the side. Bewildered, Shinichi gingerly touches his cheek then, anger fills the detective as he glares at the girl in front of him.

"What the hell, Haibara!"

"That's my line!" the scientist hisses back, turquoise eyes alight with fury. Haibara pulls her hand back, clenching it in a white knuckled grip to her side. Right now, they're standing across from each other in Haibara's lab, only just gotten back to Professor Agasa's house from visiting Jodie at the hospital mere minutes ago when he was suddenly dragged down to the basement lab.

What he didn't expect is to get slap the moment he turns around.

"What were you thinking? Making yourself bait for Vermouth like that?!" the blonde bites out, worry and anger cutting across her pale features.

"Hah? I told you didn't I? I went around disguised as you and—"

"It's not about what happened after! It's about you going up against Them alone!" Haibara cuts sharply, an arm flinging to the side.

Shinichi runs his fingers through his bangs with a heavy sigh. "I wasn't alone." Leaning back against a nearby wall, the detective recounts the people involved. "Kaa-san, Hattori, Agasa-hakase and Jodie-sensei were there."

Unfortunately, his answer only further irate the biochemist. "Only after you made sure they were far away from you! No doubt, you only told them the very bare basics!"

Pushing away from the wall, Shinichi strides forward until they're only inches apart. "It's to keep them safe!"

"Then who's going to keep _you_ safe? To have _your_ back?"

"I can handle —"

"Don't you finish that Kudou Shinichi," Haibara snaps, then visibly collects herself. "There's no doubt you can take care of yourself but brilliance is not invulnerability, Kudou-kun."

Feeling a headache coming, he presses his fingers against his temple. "Why are so angry now? It's been days since then."

It takes a moment for the other shrunken teen to reply before she gives a weary sigh, taking a seat on a nearby chair. "I had to think about something important. Something I couldn't ignore. I suppose you could say it finally caught up to me."

Shoving his hands into his pockets, a scowl on his lips. "If you want to pick apart what happened then what about _you_?" Pointing angrily at the blonde, he remembers the bone chilling fear when Haibara rushed forward with only his spare Tracking Glasses on her person. Shinichi swears he lost a few years of his life just then. "You showed yourself in front of Vermouth!"

"What did you expect after being tranquillised and locked in here? For me to just sit here demurely like a damsel in distress?"

This woman, he swear. "I promised that I'd protect you!"

Haibara softens at that. "I'm grateful, I am. But," head bowed, the scientist clenches her hands together. "I made it clear that I'm not a princess waiting to be saved." Raising her head, Haibara's eyes and tone come out clear and firm. "I am the woman who's going survive this bloody nightmare and live!"

"Haibara," he whispers, awed.

"I'm done running away. If I do, there'd be no end in sight," the blonde says softly.

"But, you're afraid of Them." Shinichi knows that even the mentioned of Them leaves Haibara petrified. Some days, he's worried that he'd wake up and find the scientist gone, in a bid of protecting everyone she cares about.

Haibara acknowledges that statement with a weary nod. "As anyone should. Yes, I'm afraid but I'm not afraid to fight back. Not anymore."

"Did you have to slap me though?" he huffs, gently prods his stinging cheek while throwing an irate glare at the girl.

Folding her arms across her chest, Haibara has the gall to smirk at him, brow raising patronisingly. "Do you even know why I did?"

"Yeah, yeah. I was reckless—"

"You're not listening, Kudou-kun. Your plan was sound, reckless, yes. But sound," the biochemist sighs.

Throwing up his arms, he almost whines. Almost. "Then what do you _want_ from me?"

"To trust me." Haibara pins him with with a beseeching stare, stopping any protest from his lips. "I'm not as fragile as you assume I am. If I wanted to be squirrelled away into a safe house until this boils over then I would've gone with the FBI."

Looks like his deduction was spot on. "So that's why. Jodie-sensei offered you Witness Protection Program. That's why you went to the hospital just now, to declined."

Haibara inclines her head in affirmative at the not question. "Yes." Then the blonde leans back, tone teasing. "I understand that you have this pathological sense of a Hero Complex—"

"Oi!"

"—But having this ludicrous notion that you can solve everything on your own is hubristic. One that can lead you to your death, Kudou-kun," Haibara informs him sternly.

Biting back a sigh, the detective ruffles his hair in one frustrated motion. "Because I hid things from you? Isn't that hypocritical? I don't know what it is yet, but I'm sure that there's something about APTX4869 you still haven't told me."

"Perhaps. Though, in my defence, I did it after seeing how you steadily hid things from me."

"I _told_ you, I only did it so you wouldn't worry. I promised you," he reminds Haibara petulantly.

"I know. It's more than what I deserve considering my part in—oh," suddenly Haibara looks sad yet resigned. "Is it because I was...?"

Shinichi's response is immediate and just a touch vehement. "No!" Calming himself, the sleuth repeats, firm and resolute. "No. You're not Them, not anymore. Never again."

Haibara looks relieved at that, tension bleeding out from her shoulders. Though, it doesn't stop her from pressing on. "Then why?"

"It's safer this way!" He's starting to lose his patience of this argument.

From the looks of it, so is Haibara as the chemist strides up to him. The sudden approach has him stumbling back, feeling nervous at the severe expression on the shrunken scientist's face. "With the high possibility of you playing matyr. Kudou-kun, why is it so hard for that thick head of yours to understand that the reason why I'm angry at you is because you made those decisions _for_ me!"

"Haibara…"

"No chance, no choice. It was either obey or death and," his mind registers that Haibara's voice starts to shake but the blonde carries on, wanting to be heard. "All my life, every decision was made by Them, always. Don't you dare treat me less than I am, Kudou-kun."

The admission stops him cold. "I d-don't, Haibara, I would never—!" Shinichi tries to placate even as his heart twinges in guilt. Had he and his actions really made Haibara feel that way?

"Is everything alright down there?"

Flinching at the professor's sudden inquiry, he turns to shout back a reply.

"Yes, Professor!"

Blinking in confusion, Shinichi whips back to stare incredulously at Haibara, who already has her back to him. The biochemist's answer was quick and precise, lacking any of her previous vulnerability. The message is clear.

He's been dismissed.

Knowing that it'll be unwise to continue, the detective shoves his hands into his pockets and makes his way out of the lab, feeling guilty and unsure.

* * *

Days pass in awkward silence since then. With neither one of them know how to approach the other, they silently agreed to avoid one another until they can sort themselves out. However, they do understand that brushing off their argument would be foolish and, considering their situation and the enemies they're facing, can be fatal for them and their loved ones in the future. Something they couldn't risk.

"I'm sorry."

Fingers stilling above the keyboard, Shiho swivels around her chair to see Kudou standing behind her, looking nervous but painfully sincere. The detective's too blue eyes shining with remorse.

The flash of shame is vivid, blinding. She too, had said some things she shouldn't have. Hesitantly, she walks towards Kudou then reaches out for the raven's hand with careful fingers, staring right back at that brilliant gaze. "Likewise," she whispers, hoping Kudou hears her sincerity.

She's relieved when the boy squeezes her hand back, a quiet grin on his face.

Then Kudou takes a breath, throat scraping small words. "I do trust you," he starts, then rushes on before she can express her disbelief at that statement. "I really do. But, I understand now that, maybe I didn't convey it the way I should have."

"Maybe?"

She receives a flat glare at that. "You're not gonna make this easy for me, are you?"

"Never," she sings as Kudou huffs.

She smiles then lets it fade, clasping the boy's hand with both of hers, hoping to convey her regret at one particular part of their argument. "You're nothing like them. For me to even imply otherwise was cruel. I'm sorry Kudou-kun."

The sleuth places his other hand on top hers, mouth cutting a firm line. "You weren't wrong. Not really."

"Eh?"

"I have a strong personality, I know that," Kudou shrugs.

A teasing grin tugs at her lips. "Don't you mean bullheaded?"

"Do you _mind_ , woman?" the shrunken detective growls, more playful than angry. Sighing, Kudou idly scratches his cheek. "It's just," averting his eyes somewhere to the side, the raven shrugs a little helplessly. "I'm always used to doing things alone. I tell people what they need to do and I'd handle the rest."

Kudou trails off, gathering his thoughts, then, the boy genius grins a little self-depriciatively. "But, you're right. Trying to do things alone isn't always the best way to go. And uh, about making decisions for you," Kudou stutters, looking a touch pale. "I didn't mean it, honest! I didn't even realise I was doing it. It's just, I mean..."

Shiho looks on, amused at the rare display of the ever quick witted detective getting tongue tied. "Kudou-kun."

"...yes?" Anxious blue eyes peek out from under raven bangs, looking too much like a puppy.

Shiho bites back a grin. "Stop digging. I know."

"So, forgive me?" Kudou asks, looking hopeful.

Shiho makes a show of thinking about it. "Depends. Did you figure this all out on your own?"

"…I might've gotten some hints here and there," Kudou mumbles, looking mulish at the admission.

"Ara? Was The Great Detective of the East stumped?" At this point, Shiho doesn't bother hiding her grin anymore.

"I didnt want to make things worse, okay?" the sleuth grounds out, looking both annoyed and guilty.

Grin softening into a smile, she gently flicks Kudou's forehead, to the boy's chagrin. "I forgive you."

"What's the catch?" There must've been something in her voice because Kudou looks wary.

Usually she'd give a sarcastic quip or demand something from the fashion catalogue but not this time. She's tired of falling into old habits and, well, they have to start somewhere. "Never hide things from me again, Kudou-kun. I'll be the one to decide if I can handle it or not."

Kudou looks surprised, likely from her honest answer, then grows thoughtful. After a moment, the raven nods. "Fair but only if you promise me the same."

"Alright," she agrees easily enough only to blink owlishly when a pinky is thrust right at her face. Shiho raises an incredulous brow at the gesture. "Seriously?"

"Why not?" Kudou asks, grinning boyishly.

Shiho lets out an exaggerated sigh. Then, lifting one of her hands too, she twines their smallest fingers together. A smile pulls stubbornly at the corners of her mouth as she looks down at their joined hands, then up, across at Kudou who smiles back. Then, the detective turns serious, voice soft and sincere. "I promise."

"I promise," she solemnly echoes. When Kudou tries to move away, she holds fast.

"Haibara?"

Shiho answers by dragging the confused genius to her computer, gesturing to a nearby chair. "Sit down."

Kudou understands the unvoiced offer immediately. A hopeful smile blooms across his face. "Really?"

"Think you can handle it?" she mocks, already pulling up the files about APTX4869. Kudou scrambles to her workstation, almost falling out of the chair in his rush to sit down.

Kudou grins cheekily at her. "Of course! I trust you after all."


End file.
